We all know attending meetings is boring, soul-destroying and bad for morale (and let's not forget the amount of extra work they generate. Evil). In order to alleviate you of meetingitis we have devised and road-tested ten excuses for cutting your participation in that AGM short.
1. “My piles make sitting down unbearable”
2. “I didn't make bail”
3. “I'm sorry. I seem to have pissed myself”
4. “I've got a beer in the fridge that is about to go off”
5. “I can't be arsed with this crap” (note: not really an excuse but sometimes truth is stranger than fiction)
6. “The world is on fire! Run!”
7. “I went to a similar meeting last week”
8. “There's a body in my front room I have to dispose of before my dog eats it“
9. “I can't possibly proceed on this basis”
10. “Before we start I would like to say how disappointed I am that no one has noticed that I defecated under the conference table”
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