10 activites that are extremely unlikely to kill you

1: Abseiling down the side of a matchbox.
2: Stabbing yourself with a blunt styrofoam cup.
3: Becoming a member of the Rolling Stones.
4: Eating a healthy diet, and taking regular exercise.
5: Smothering yourself without the use of a pillow.
6: Concentrating hard of the end of a biro for 12 minutes.
7: Wearing only beige.
8: Asking yourself some searching questions about the nature of cheese.
9: Attempting to drown yourself in a tiny tiny vat of mashed potato - no larger than a thimble, mind.
10: Appeasement.