10 things not to say to a customer when things go wrong

1. (fingers in ears) LALALALALALALALALA – not listening - LALALALALALA
2. The easiest way for me to fix this is for you to fix it.
3. I have fucked up bigger projects than this.
4. Do I look like someone who cares?
5. I am not paid enough to fix this.
6. Who are you?
7. If you are religous, start praying.. if not we are up shit creek without a paddle.
8. You can borrow my mobile to call someone who cares.
9. Don't blame me, you hired me, blame yourself......prick
10. Normally when this happens I go to the pub.