1. Gravel.
2. Toothpaste made from butter mixed with clay.
3. 15 yards of viscous human effluent moulded in the shape of an earlobe.
4. A short angry man with a bag of marbles, frequently residing in your shoe.
5. Carl's conceptual arse-ballet in F minor.
6. A daisy chain of tonsils masquerading as a bead curtain.
7. A helicopter made of chickens by chickens, operated at conceptual speeds by a fleet of chihuahuas blocking upo your kitchen sink in a frantic fashion.
8. The collected agony and fear of a butchered nation, stuffed into a jam jar and put in your cupboard – just behind the pickles. Does absolutely (and to some extent, resolutely) nothing for toast.
9. A relief map of Norwich, written in Braille and covered in piss.
10. The last four pages of the technical manual for a Challenger tank, manifested in the form of a contemporary dance (jazz and arse-ballet), performed by a solitary 29 stone incontinence-sufferer dressed only in dry cabbage and a 14p stamp. Answers to the name of 'Jez'.
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