10 reasons to be thankful that your were not born a domestic cat

1: Opposable digits are a boon when it comes to carrying several beers at once.
2: Licking your own bits is not all it's cracked up to be, and is likely to result in extended bouts of halitosis.
3: I have it on good authority that field mice taste like shit.
4: Getting a pube stuck in your teeth is bad enough. Coughing up balls of fur must suck.
5: I don't care how many out of ten prefer it, cat food still bears more than a passing resemblance to shit mixed with vomit.
6: A life without caffeine or booze is not worth living.
7: The blame for all unattributed smells will be levelled at you.
8: Wearing a flea collar is both degrading and unlikely to get you laid.
9: Chances are you'll have had your bollocks chopped off before you get the chance to use them in anger.
10: The possibility exists that another domestic cat will try to shag you.

That is all.