1. Cider is the breakfast of champions. And tramps
2. Indulging in two unhealthy acts simultaneously makes them cancel each other out. Let us furnish you with an example: A breakfast of 20 Lambert and Butler and a KFC bargain bucket will not kill you. Note: Some of the above is untrue and therefore of dubious factual content
3. Ginger children are further down the social hierarchy than tramps. Act accordingly.
4. Crime pays
5. “I is going to read a books, innit?”. No you're not. Fuck off.
6. An off-licence without a security cage is a rare and splendid thing
7. If you're under 15 and own a bored-out stolen scooter, you are exempt from adhering to the Highway Code, the education system and responsible parenting
8. Please show your pants at all times. IF this means wearing your tracksuit bottoms around your knees at all times so be it. Note: It will make it difficult to run after the twat who just stole your scooter
9. Please take your children to Tesco's and beat them
10. Stealing, taking drugs and amassing ASBOs is the surest path to getting a free council house
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment