10 key indicators that your neighbour may be plotting your untimely demise

1: He is currently pointing a gun at you over the fence, shouting “I'm going to fucking kill you, mother fucker!”
2: He rings your doorbell and delivers a heavy, black spherical object with a lit fuse attached and the word bomb written on the side, whilst shouting “I'm going to fucking kill you, mother fucker!”
3: You have been plagued by a non-stationary red dot on your chest for a few hours, whilst in the background you hear your neighbour shouting “I'm going to fucking kill you, mother fucker!”
4: You answer the phone to your neighbour to be greeted with him , shouting “I'm going to fucking kill you, mother fucker!” whilst reversing the charges.
5: Your neighbour is distributing leaflets on your street carrying your picture and the words “I'm going to fucking kill you, mother fucker!” written in bold.
6: You receive a letter from your neighbour apologising for dismembering your cat as he thought it was you. Signed “I'm going to fucking kill you, mother fucker!”
7: You're woken in the middle of the night by scratching sound. On closer examination the sound is emanating from your front door. It turns out to be your neighbour in the process of trying to stuff landmines through your letterbox.
8: Your neighbour has signed you up to “Euthanasia Quarterly”. However he has replace your last name with “motherfucker” and your first name with “I'm going to kill you”
9: You receive a letter inviting you to a book signing. The book is entitled “you're a motherfucker, and I'm going to kill you” written by your neighbour.
10: You return home from work to find yourself brutally murdered by your neighbour. Because you are dead you fail to hear him exclaim triumphantly ,I'm going to fucking kill you, mother fucker!”