Ten ways to distinguish a quail from a whale

1. you won’t find lumps of dried krill stuck to the side of a quail’s beak
2. whales tend to be slightly larger than quails, and often with significantly less feathers
3. quail fat does not make for good soap
4. quails are difficult to harpoon, especially when submerged
5. whales’ nests are very shabby, and almost constantly wet
6. quails can fly
7. whale embryos rarely get served at fancy restaurants
8. Although the two species share only one common letter, “a”, they are more often than not spelt entirely differently (does not apply to those languages where this is not the case, such Gruhurrhbands and possibly Cornish)
9. a whale basks, whereas a quail frequently flaps
10. one is a bird and one is a marine mammal



Flemish quail miners, near the Pommeranian border, 1876.

(note: The person on the far left was an extra in UK medical-based TV drama Holby City. He subsequently drowned himself in a vat of stale elk's piss much to the amusement of his peers, all of whom despised him for his success.)