10 reasons to accept any offer of employment from a granary bap (pictured)

1: Bereft of olfactory senses, a granary bap will not smell the gin on you.
2: A meeting with a granary bap is likely to be a short, one-sided affair culminating in you getting your own way.
3: There is little chance of you getting pissed at the office Christmas party and trying to shag a granary bap...
4: ... and even if you do, all the incriminating evidence is edible.
5: Granary baps are Equal Opportunities Employers.
6: Having no particular dietary requirements, a granary bap is more likely to let you replace the office canteen with a fridge full of Guinness.
7: Granary baps are good for you, whereas people can be mean.
8: I have never heard anyone complain of getting a shitty e-mail about deadlines, and "your attitude" from a granary bap, nor for that matter from any dough-based food product.
9: It is difficult to heat a normal boss, cover them in butter and then scoff them. Granary baps are considerably more amenable to such advances.
10: Baps are great :)

A Granary Bap (seriously, Google image search for "granary bap"... if you have time. Or not. Yes, I am a loser. Oh fuck off.)




Please note: A granary bap, when filled with cheese, ham or quail, makes a suitable lunchtime repast. Quail.