1: He is benevolent after all, although prone to enjoying the sight of violence and bad teeth
2: Well why wouldn't he? For fucks sake.
3: He is far too busy to beat up the female population on a nightly basis by himself
4: He always wanted a liquid alternative to gypsies
5: He felt the need to capitalise on the growing cheap, strong cider market boom
6: He is dyslexic and was trying to create "The Raw Ice Dice".
7: Kittens drown quicker in Ace.
8: Crack cocaine wasn't as effective for urban regeneration as he had hoped
9: He was visited in the night by a monstrous platinum duck who ordered him to brew the Ace, otherwise Mr. Ducky would take a dump on his pillow. A runny one.
10: It was a misunderstanding based on God's desire to create an equivalent of the Ace of Spades
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