10 reasons to abolish the moon

1: It doesn't pay tax and as such is nothing but a parasitic leech on society
2: It's my moon, and I shall do with it as I please.
3: What if the man in the moon is lactose intolerant? Have you thought about that?
... inconsiderate bastards.
4: I need the space for my intergalactic battle station/porn stash.
5: Tides are lame.
6: Removing the moon may prove the only way to treat the irreversible onset of were-beings
7: Scientific types postulate that the size of the moon in inversely proportional to the size of my todger. No moon, epic trouser snake. You do the maths.
8: The moon , like so many other delinquents, likes to loiter around people's back gardens, mainly at night, causing untold damage to communities and often leading to minor arrests and drunken behaviour
9: The moon hates you and wants you dead. I saw it violating your hamster. Fact.
10: The moon, contrary to popular belief, is not actually perfectly round. What a disappointment.