10 things I don't need

1. Windows fucking Vista;
2. £15 million (does reverse psychology work on God?). (No. - God);
3. A tail. Where do you put it when you take a dump?;
4. Advertising. I am stupid enough as it is, and, over the past 30 years have proven astonishingly adept at buggering up my own morale fibre. I am in no need of assistance. (Steve's words, not mine...);
5. A big name department store shopping bag. I am just as happy puking in an Asda one;
6. Another personality. Two is quite enough. (no it isn't) (who asked you?) (repeat to fade);
7. This. See also 'you', 'it' and 'everything';
8. A small, rat-type dog to carry. If it has got more legs than me I can fucking well walk;
9. A partially-cracked item of crockery containing the remnants of something I tried to eat last week. Probably with mayonnaise in. Or spunk. (Oddly this is the only item on this list I actually own);
10. A hydrogen-based life form called 'Niels' summering in my scrotum. So there.