10 modern routes to fame

1. Have a rich daddy (or mummy) - just as long as they are not married anymore;
2. Get out of a car with no pants on. In fact, generally shun the undergarment ethic all together;
3. Invent a cure for something (or invent a disease and then a cure for it) and name it after yourself;
4. Put on 17 stone, get on a shit reality show, give a crap blowjob to a bald brummie, get your 'kebab' out and reduce your IQ to that of a house brick. Twice;
5. Shag a footballer or at least pretend you did;
6. Win the lottery and then spend the next 10 years proving how little you deserved it. Note: may require a custodial sentence or two and ownership of a Glasgow Rangers shirt;
7. Be orange;
8. Go back in time and write yourself into 'Great Expectations' by Charles Dickens;
9. Get your tits out for the lads;
10. Accidentally film yourself having sex. Accidentally post the footage on the internet. Accidentally tell everyone where to find the footage using the medium of MySpace.