10 acceptable phrases to be exclaimed whilst being spanked by a mistress (or master)

1. "Mother, is this really necessary?"
2. "3 chilli wings and a bucket of beans - hold the coleslaw matron!"
3. "That actually quite hurts, you know?"
4. "This may all be fine, but I certainly shan't place YOUR pants on MY head"
5. "Crystal Palace 3 - Brighton Hove Albion 0"
6. "Is that all you've got?"
7. *a ukulele impression* "bang-bang-bang-pling!"
8. "How dare you not touch my eagle of justice?"
9. "Mr. coco starfish says 'ow'!"
10. "If you find my father, please tell him to vacate my derriere"