2. No one likes using a dictionary
3. We know the world is fucked. Stop going on about it!
4. Left-handed scissors don't stop you being mal-coordinated
5. We don't all deserve a chance, especially not people who make toothpaste from butter mixed with clay
6. Don't believe anything Clegg says. Vince Cable, if you are reading this, kindly smother Clegg while he sleeps. Note: Please don't, thinking about it. Just give him a good telling off and send him to the Naughty Corner
7. Hippies ultimately reject their own liberal ideals and end up managing multinational corporations with a fascist ferocity. “Save the trees so later in life I can pay poor people pittance to chop them down”
8. "Liberal Ideals" is an anagram of "Daddy didn't love me". (?)
9. Can liberalism cure my hangover? Answer: No it fucking can't
10. Tofu is not, I repeat not, universally acceptable as a source of nourishment
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