10 pathetic excuses for not writing blog entries

1. I have to count my pubes.
2: It currently measures 0.76 on the Carlsson scale
3. Belgium is still a sovereign state
4. If I write something I'll have to stop whinging about not having written anything, then what will I do? Huh?!!
5. I have been incapable of writing words containing the letters ' ' and ' ' since April 1936
6. There appears to be some elderly mayonnaise on my keyboard.
7. For every syllable I write a kitten is doused in kerosine and thrown on a bonfire.
8. Mother says my words are sinful, and if I blog again she's going to purge me with a horse whip and coca-cola enema combo.
9. There is something rotten in the state of Denmark, apparently (although this may be old news. I don't read much). I refuse to go on until this unacceptable situation has been resolved.
10. There's something rotten in my desk drawer which makes me gag when I try to get to the computer. I think it may be the corpse of a budgie I mislaid in early '07.