Wednesday, 4 June 2008

10 things to do if you run out of drugs

1. Buy more, immediately!
2. Develop another addiction, like an irrational love of sponge. If and when that runs out you can always resort back to drugs.
3. Call your boss, grovel and ask for your job back.
4. Start drinking. Heavily!
5. Relax. Your flatmate will be back in a few hours and hopefully he’ll have some drugs.
6. Make your own. Your local pharmacy has more outs than you can imagine.
7. Get sectioned. Do some research prior to this on what drugs are given for what mental illnesses and act accordingly.
8. Masturbate. WORKS EVERY TIME!
9. As above, but in the company of another, or several, like-minded people.
10. Snort shavings of Keith Richards.

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