2. There is relatively little call in Manchester for people with the ability to eat an apple through a tennis racket.
3. His poor command of English would inevitably lead to him referring to the club as Man Shitty.
4. He's Brazilian. Meaning in a few short days he'll either be working as a waiter, selling his ass for crack, or being shot on tube trains by the Met for no apparent reason.
5. He might overshadow the mighty Darius Vassell.
6. Ronaldinho is Mancunian dialect for "Please kick me in the nuts really hard, and then nick my trainers. "
... as indeed is "Hello".
7. Man City doesn't need flair, they need a football team
8. The site of the former World Player of the Year in a Sky Blue shirt would be the optical equivalent of "brown noise" meaning that the entire population of the world would collectively shit themselves at the first training session, burying the planet in faecal matter and rendering football irrelevant.
9. Ronaldinho would singlehandedly expose the entire squad for its shortcomings, leading it mutterings on the terraces of "we are actually really, really shit"
10. He looks like a twat in a beret.
See?
